Is it cheating to use the same picture twice? Oh well. Here's the photo that makes me sad:
So what's the deal? How can that photo make me both happy and sad? Well, I'll tell you. The truth is, that picture is the epitome of the perfect family picture to me. Perfect because I'm not in it. No, I'm not saying that I want out of my family or that they would be better without me or anything like that. I just feel like I would mess up the picture by being in it.
That sounds worse out here than it does in my head. Let me try to explain.
I have (and have always had) terrible body image. I have always felt too big (even when I wasn't--you'll be seeing that in a post soon enough) and now that I actually am too big I am hideously self conscious. I feel so strongly about this picture that I used it in an online project put together by Jack Sh*t of Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit. (He's hysterical, by the way. Go over there and read some of his stuff. AFTER you finish up here, of course!)
I hate to be in pictures because I feel like I ruin them. Many a great picture of my children will never see the light of day because I am in the shot too. I've recently started working on my weight and one of the reasons is that I want to take real family pictures. The kind that I am in too. The kids and Jason deserve that. And so do I.
Do you have hang-ups about being in pictures or do you know someone who does? Have you ever struggled with body image issues?