Monday, January 31, 2011

Flashback: The Magical Power of Numbers

This is the last pull-over post from my weight loss blog. It was originally published 14 June 2010. I think it pretty much speaks for itself.


So if a woman is 110 lbs overweight and nobody knows her exact she still fat?

Stupid question, right? And yet, for the past few years I have hidden my actual weight from everyone I know in real life. My friends, my parents, the doctors (when possible), and even my husband. (I have shared these numbers with a few internet friends. It's sort of funny in a sad way.) Not that I've had a lot of people flat-out ask me, of course. A couple have, but most people just leave that little pause in the conversation; the one where I'm supposed to spill my guts and share that all-important number. I just keep quiet when the conversation turns that way.

It's not that I think I'm fooling anyone. I think it's possibly been my way of keeping people from talking to me too candidly about the subject. I guess I feel that if nobody says anything directly to me about my size then I can pretend (to myself) that they just don't notice. Do I feel as though saying the number out loud (or writing it...whatever) gives it more power? Is it that I feel people will think less of me if they know exactly what my real weight is? I haven't a clue. I haven't completely worked my way through these ideas yet, so I'm not sure if they're 100% right. There is a certain ring of truth to them, though; I think they may be close.

I am in awe of those who are able to share their numbers for all the world to see. I don't want to share my weight here. I want to want to, though. I'm trying to figure out how to get there.

How about you? How open are you about your weight? Do you wish you could be more open? Do you have hang ups like mine?

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