Friday, May 28, 2010

Dear So and So: The (Mostly) Angry Edition

Dear Thieves,

Well. I guess you got us this time. That'll teach me to laugh at your ineptness. But please tell me...what exactly are you going to do with the remote to our DVD player without the player itself? Please don't take this as a dare to come get the DVD player...but I am honestly curious. Also, how are you enjoying the used cow bowling set that you stole out of the back of the van? I know it probably looked all important back there wrapped up in brown paper and addressed to someone else. I would have loved to see the look on your face when you opened up that bad boy. Mooo!

Tying a ribbon around my finger to remind me to double-check the locks,

Exasperated Van Owner

P.S. Did you really have to take my gum too? Really?


Dear Random Woman in the Commissary,

Yes, we do know that there are velcro shoes out there. Thanks for the tip. HOWEVER. Our child is nearly nine-years-old now. We'd very much like for him to learn how to tie his shoes. That's why we switched from the velcro ones that he's been wearing since, oh, forever. In the future, should you hear a father telling his son that said child will be spending a little more time practicing the shoe tying thing and a little less time playing Gameboy over the weekend...well, perhaps you should butt out. Your input really isn't needed. Especially when you aim your "helpful input" at the child with a dirty look thrown toward the parent.

Wondering what is wrong with less Gameboy time,

An (Apparently) Old-Fashioned Parent


Dear Air Force,

Piss or get off the pot. Seriously.

The Done Spouse,



Dear Jason,

I hope you enjoy your special field trip with Jake today. I know he is soooo excited to have his daddy join him. The train, the zoo, and 40 elementary kids...

Better You Than Me,

Your Absolutely Adoring Wife :)


Dear Zander,

Thank you, sweet boy, for being the comic relief in my week. Your bedtime story starring "Mom Trooper Girl Mandi" was every bit as awesome as you are. I will cherish forever the fact that you were the child to teach me to use the plunger. And I'm so glad that I managed not to laugh out loud when you complained that the "heat was too cold" in the van this morning. You are a joy, little man!

Love you,



Dear Readers,

Want to read some more Dear So-and-So? I know you do! Head over to Kat's place for a little linky fun.


  1. Love your Dear So and So! Don't you love it when people in the commissary try to give you parenting advice?

    Thanks for the awesome comment on my blog re writing. I've heard about NaNoWriMo, and I'm seriously considering participating. It sounds like such a great way to get motivated. And good for you for doing it! Are you going to do it again this year? Thanks for the advice!

  2. I am planning on participating again this year. We're supposed to move in a couple months so I may have to change my mind if we're not settled enough. I really enjoyed the experience last year, even though I did not "win." I just really learned a lot and it made the whole thing worth it.

    Thanks for stopping by! :)

  3. HAHA Those were great. I am guessing the Air Force is still not giving y'all answers? I would have told that velcro lady off!!

  4. You are guessing correctly. It's been a frustrating week. We've been told that we'll know more next week. I guess we'll see. lol

    I know, right?! Jason told me the velcro story when he got home. He said she was an "older" lady, too. I'm trying to wrap my brain around the idea of someone thinking that a nearly-nine-year-old child is being unfairly treated because he has to give up a little Gameboy time to practice tying his shoes! WTH? lol

  5. How frustrating!

    I am with Cass I would have told velcro lady off. Seriously ppl need to learn to mind their own business.



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