Dear So and So Murphy's Law Edition

Dear Strep Throat,

I thought we had this discussion already? I thought I had made things perfectly clear but I guess not. The boys already took one round of meds in an attempt to get rid of you; why on earth would you get the idea we wanted you to return? And to both boys, no less?! Let me be perfectly clear, strep throat: You are not welcome here. GO AWAY!

More than a little miffed,

Mother to the two boys you are apparently stalking

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Dear Landlord,

I understand that this is a rental home. I haven't complained about the yucky kitchen cabinets that should have been replaced ages ago. I took it pretty well when you replaced our nice kitchen faucet with a cheaper and much smaller bathroom faucet, even though it makes my kitchen chores more tedious. But couldn't you please, please, please spring for whatever part will keep the water heater from dying every time we take a power hit? I'm so tired of dealing with cold showers and no working radiators while we wait for the maintenance guy to come.

With shivering blue lips,

Your current tenant

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Dear Thieves,

Did you really have to pick the week that Jason's gone to hit the neighborhood again? You suck. It's a little scary to know that you were rooting around in my van, pawing through my things. I have to admit that I laughed at you just a little, though. I wonder what you thought when you opened up the glove compartment to find nothing but extra hats, mittens, and chapstick? I bet that was quite the let-down. We know not to leave anything valuable in the vehicles but thanks for the reminder to double-check our locks!

Owner of the fully-loaded FOR KIDS van

P.S. You totally missed the DVDs that were tucked into the bottom of one of the compartments. Ha ha!

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Dear Mr. Murphy,

Seriously, dude. What do you have against military wives? This stuff NEVER happens to Jason when I am out of town. Not even when I was active duty and I was the one deployed. I repeat, NEVER. So not fair!

Thinking you are definitely sexist,

Amanda

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