And After the World's Longest Drumroll...

Finally! I can share our big news.

Four months ago our family was presented with an opportunity to make a huge shift in our life. We weren't sure if we were going to do it at first. It's ridiculous. It's crazy. It is--well, I'm sure there are some people who are going to think we're nuts. Honestly, we think we're a little nuts too. Regardless, after weeks of debate with each other and hours (and hours) of consultation with people we trust, we are taking the plunge.

The news: Jason is separating from the Air Force and accepting a civilian position with the government. He starts terminal leave on 1 July--which means that our days as a "military family" are officially numbered! And that number? It's pretty freakin' low. We are truly, extraordinarily excited--and scared to death!

The process of applying and getting accepted for this job was long and arduous. The uncertainties with the government budget have come into play a couple of times as well, further complicating matters. I wanted to shout all this from the rooftops weeks ago, but we have been trying to wait until things solidified a bit. I've stayed away from blogging a bit because this is, literally, all we've been able to talk about for weeks. (And, by way of apology, I truly did not mean for this to get dragged out as it has! We thought we would be able to announce two weeks ago but someone didn't push some paperwork as quickly as they should have and things stalled out for a bit. It's all good now though.)

Oh wait...did I mention where the job is? I didn't? Yeah. It's in Germany. We will be heading back sometime in August!

Ranting and Raving

Remember back when I said that finance had our money all correct and fixed? Remember how shocked and thrilled I was? Yeah.

A few days after I wrote that post, finance suddenly realized that our COLA hadn't stopped on time. (I still don't understand how that was the case because I saw our bank account but whatever. Jason and some finance guy went over it and that's the final call.) Starting at the beginning of November, Jason's pay was low due to this mix up. I highly recommend having a pay issue right after a move. It's very fun. If you can manage, make sure it's right before the holidays too. That's a freakin' blast. Of course, it's not worth throwing a fit over because it happens all the stinkin' time to practically everybody when they move, especially when said move involves flying over an ocean. Right? (So why am I? Keep reading. It will become clear.)

So we dealt. And really, it wasn't like it was the end of the world. Bills were paid and everybody was fed so we're still doing very well, especially when we looked around us and considered the economy. Christmas was a little tight this year but the kids have too much crap anyway so that was almost a blessing. (I'm really not kidding there. I see more small Christmases in our future.) Yeah, we were sweating a little at the end of every paycheck (something that we haven't had to do in a long, long time) but we had enough and things were going to be fixed as soon as Jason's pay straightened out.

At the end of November, a vehicle in front of Jason kicked a rock into the windshield of the truck. The small chink in the glass swiftly turned into a crack that goes all the way across. Insurance covers it, but there is a deductible. We put off fixing it until the beginning of January. Then we got our gas bill. (Sigh.)

Sometime in the middle of January a vehicle in front of us kicked a rock into the windshield of the van. The small chink in the glass has crept about halfway up the glass. Another deductible to deal with but now we're dealing with birthdays. So we put it off until after the 1 Feb paycheck.

(Can I add here that we have never, in 15+ years, had a cracked windshield. Two within two months?! Good grief.)

Jason got a notice at work that week stating that he had an unpaid balance on his government card. WTH?! No way. We checked that sucker after his travel voucher was paid to make sure there was a zero balance. And there was! We were good. Apparently something went through very late (very, very late) and we didn't get the bill. (You know how they don't send you a bill when there's no balance on that thing? Yeah, that might be a stupid idea on their part. We weren't expecting a bill so when none came...well, everything was as it should be.) (And, oh! We got the late notice in the mail two days ago--and the bills for November and December today. Good times.)

Now Jason's truck is making the most God-awful noise on the planet. There are a bunch of things it could be, ranging in cost anywhere between $300 to $6500 and most of them require not driving it until it's fixed. (Good-bye tax return and all of the fun things you were going to represent! And good-bye freedom for mom as we're down to one vehicle until said fixing happens.) Oh! And, of course, we have to take it to the mechanic and pay $100 just to have him tell us what is wrong with it.

Oh, people. Really? I'm so freakin' tired.

Let this be a lesson to those of you who are getting ready to move. Save, save, save. We had a huge nest egg for this move and we still got bit in the butt. You can never have too much. That's all I'm saying.

We're still fine but it's frustrating to be at this "treading water" place. It's been a good long while since we had to do that and I hate it! I have projects I want to start and would like to replenish the savings. None of that can happen until these little waves quit hitting us.

Also? I'll try to rant with less parenthesis next time. Sorry.

Military readers: How on earth does one make money on a move? I've heard of this phenomenon but have never seen it in action. Nobody I know in real life can do it either--with the exception of the join spouse couples. Educate me, oh wise ones! I'm freakin' clueless. Civilian readers: How on earth do you finance a move? So much of this one came out of pocket but we didn't pay for anywhere near most of it. I can't imagine having to foot the whole bill.

Round-up!

These past two weeks have brought some serious change into my day-to-day operations. I'm not sure if it's because we're nearing the end of our first month of "mostly junk-free eating", if it's just a result of having been here long enough to feel settled, or if it's due to some other completely ridiculous reason--and I don't care! Things turned around and that makes me very happy.

I've found a college program and started the enrollment process. I'm planning to start back in January so there is no huge rush. It's nice to be working toward that goal, though. (I'm just ignoring how far away I am from that goal. Who needs to think about that, really?)

Our main living areas and bedrooms are finally both clean and organized. I was having a really hard time getting both of those things accomplished at the same time; I would spend one afternoon organizing a closet, only to have Zander completely trash the living room. Or I would clean the living room and walk in to find all the (already organized) cabinets in the bathroom emptied of their contents. It was a never-ending battle. Today I can tell you that every room in the house (except Sam and Jake's room, and that is just not my responsibility) is both clean and organized. Yes, there is more to do (and you'll note that I did not say anything about the garage...or the van) but I could welcome anybody into my house without being even a little bit embarrassed. So yay!

I've been eating on plan for almost four weeks now. Lean meats, loads of veggies, and (very few) whole grain carbs make up our meals. This week, as you know, I added an exercise program into my daily routine. Today marked Day Five; things are still going very well. I need some serious work on my sleep schedule, but I'm very happy overall.

The boys and I started our "Letter of the Week" activities again. We did "D" this week: dancing, dinosaurs, dogs, Dora, and daddy were all part of our discussions. I wasn't organized enough to do activities cute enough to take pictures to share but we are making progress! Next week we are going to do letter "I". I'm hoping to get some of those activities into the blog next Saturday.

I did manage to get the blog redesign mostly done. I'm really happy with it. I still have a few things to add to the sidebar but the place is looking pretty nice. If you're on a reader click over for a minute and check out the new digs. There's an "About" section and everything!

Thanks to all of you who have stuck around long enough for me to get my "poo" together again after the move. I'm almost to the point where I can write some real posts again. I'm also trying to figure out Twitter, so if you are on there add me and help a girl out. I'm @calmcrazy and completely clueless. For real.

Have a great weekend, people!

take a deep breath in...

...And let it out. Doesn't that feel nice?

The past couple of months have been CRAZY. Moving to Germany was pretty nuts, but coming home has been even nuttier. And, to be completely honest, I'm not even sure why that is! I supposed that some of it may be the lack of schedule. When we moved to Germany Jason went in to work almost immediately. He technically had 10 days of house-hunting leave but work nabbed him for almost half of those days. We pretty much just got dumped into "real life" from the get-go. It sucked, but we were forced to form our "new normal" pretty quickly.

Coming home has been very, very different! We have been here in California for nearly six weeks and today is Jason's first real day at work. Yes, he has had to go in for some in-processing and to do a few things here or there but this is the first "real" day of work. We have had time to find our home, get our household goods, unpack (for the most part), pick up both vehicles, and get to know the area. It has been--awesome.

The flip side to all that wonderful time together has been that the boys and I have not sunk into a routine yet. Not that we're really a "routine" kind of family anyway, but our days usually work themselves out into some sort of natural rhythm. We don't even have a normal wake-up time yet! Our meal times are still off, naps are hit and miss, and household chores? Yeah...please don't unexpectedly stop by my house anytime soon. Neither one of us will be very impressed with how that turns out.

I have some picture posts to share soon (this is a beautiful area!) and a few "Um, wow! We're not in Germany anymore" posts as well. It has been an interesting transition to be sure! I'm sad that Jason had to go back to work but I'm looking forward to starting into a routined existence once again. It's been four months since the two little guys had any kind of real schedule. I'd say we are over-due!

How about you? Ever made a big change that caused your family routine to be disrupted? For you military folks, what was your hardest move?

Nearly.There...No, Really. For Real!

You know, it's not lack of material that is keeping me from posting; it's lack of time! I keep thinking I'm going to break through to the "other side" of this move and I'm not even sure what I think that means!

Household goods have arrived and (so far) there is only minor, annoying damage to our property. A broken glass, a broken vase, some shattered picture frames, and various small chips and scratches to our furniture. It could have been worse. We do have quite a few boxes left though and most of them have breakables in them. I've got my fingers crossed that all the really important stuff made it in one piece.

Unpacking is not going near as fast as I would like. We went to San Francisco to pick up our van the day after our household good arrived and I think we lost some momentum with that trip. We returned home and just--well, we're just not working real fast. I know we'll get there; it's just taking longer than I would have expected!

Side note: Driving through San Francisco during rush hour? Not such a great idea. I do not recommend that at all!

Our truck has also arrived but we have to drive all the way down to Long Beach to pick it up. That will happen this week. And that will mark the last real hurtle of this PCS! All items present and accounted for, all paperwork completed and filled in. With today's payday it even appears that Jason's pay is squared away already. How often does that happen this quickly?!

Settling In

Well I did not mean to disappear again. We've even had internet this whole time so I can't blame that! Here's what happened:

Our unaccompanied baggage was delivered! (Ha ha--doesn't he look thrilled?)

The day we moved in we called to schedule the date and the woman said they could deliver it the very next day. We were very happy with that--and then she called back and said that they could deliver it that afternoon! Can you believe it?! So we have had at least a little unpacking to do. Our real shipment arrives this week--and we just found out that our van is in port! All we have to do is drive out to San Francisco to pick it up.

Things are definitely coming together!

Moving Day!

Well, one of them anyway.

We are in the process of moving out of TLF and into our new home. We're spending one last night in TLF (where we have beds and a functional kitchen!) but tomorrow we will officially have a new home. Because there is so much junk to pack into the (rented) van, I don't have a lot of time tonight. (And where on earth did all this "junk" come from?! It's nuts!) I thought it might be fun to post a comparison pic of our German house and the new house here in California. Here we go!

This is the front of our home in Germany. It was a 4-story (including the basement) townhome located roughly two miles from the base gate. It had 4 bedrooms and (approximately) 1800 square feet of living space. We picked it due to its proximity to the base and because of the backyard. It was a nice place to live and we spent three of our seven years there. (Sorry about the snow pics. They were the only ones I could find on the laptop.)

And this is the back. Unfortunately that second story balcony could only be accessed from two of the kids' rooms so it rarely got used. The positive side of that was that our bedroom took up the entire top floor. It was a really great room. The only way it could have been better? A door. It was a very, very open room. Ahem.

We've been researching homes in the Beale AFB area for as long as we knew that was where we were going. We wanted to have some sort of idea what the "norm" was, which I am sure is something that the majority of you understand! We solicited opinions from as many military people as we could find, did a lot of reading on our own, joined a Yahoo group to ask the opinions of locals, and scoured the internet for pictures of homes within our rental cap.

We looked at a bunch, but only went into four homes. This is the third house we toured and we knew it was the one as soon as we walked inside. It only has three bedrooms, but it has tons of storage and over 2000 square feet. The boys loved the area enough that they volunteered to share a bedroom in order to live here. (We had originally hoped to get a 4 bedroom but did not really like either of the 4 bedrooms available here in this area.)

Here is the front. This was taken when the carpet guy was cleaning the carpets, so ignore the blue hoses running into the house. Also, the landlords are doing a bunch of work on the house and those stairs are new. They will be painted to match the rest of the woodwork soon.

And here is the back. The porch is HUGE and will be a great play area for the kids. The yard is very unique (more later). The boys are IN LOVE with the house. I can't wait to start planting some things and fixing it up a little. I think some spring bulbs would be a lot of fun.

We are so happy with it that it's really kind of disgusting. We're those "too-happy" people you run into sometimes. Yeah, you know the ones. I'm sure the bloom will wear off a little at some point and we'll go back to "normal", but it's a lot of fun right now!

Oh! And our bedroom? It has a door. With a lock.

Our Mini-Vacation

Before we left Germany, Jason and I had big plans for a family vacation. We wanted to ship the van off to Baltimore early enough that it would be there when we flew in. The plan was to make a cross-country drive across the U.S. Our projected route would have taken us down to North Carolina, through West Virginia, up to Indiana, through the state of Michigan, and then across every state along the northern border. We would have turned south once we hit Washington (a good idea what with the ocean and all), driven through Oregon, and finally ended up in California. It would have been an awesome trip and we were really excited about it. The whole orders situation kind of messed it up though. We just could not get the van out of Germany in time, no matter what we tried.

So we scrapped that plan and decided to spend a couple extra days in Baltimore instead. This was good for a couple of reasons. It gave us a little extra padding, for one thing. We were afraid our military flight would slip back a day and wreak havoc on our travel plans. (This happened to our friends the month before and we did not want to deal with what they had to do to fix their plane tickets, etc.) Also, it gave us a place and some time to breathe once we hit American soil.

Culture shock is a real and true thing, my friends. And it really is harder to come back than it is to go in the first place. (I promise to get back to this topic.)

Our first night in the states we watched tv (oh my--the channels!) and ordered pizza in. It was so nice to have it delivered to the door! We took baths and showers (water pressure! WOW!) and got squeaky clean. The boys learned how to operate the satellite channel guide, what "real" light switches look like, and how to flush an American toilet (Zander). Around the time that I went from "bone-crushingly tired" to "certified-Zombie" the boys passed out and we finally got to sleep...only to wake up about 3 hours later (5 AM), fully alert and surrounded by bright-eyed children. It was, after all, roughly 11 AM to our internal clocks. Sigh.

Hello, jetlag! Funny how you are never invited yet always show up for the party!

We jumped on the Baltimore metro system (Metro Light? Sounds like a beer but I think that is what it's called.) and rode out to the Inner Harbor. Funny how we never would have thought to look into a metro "type" system before living in Europe. As small town kids, it just would not have occurred to either Jason or myself. It's a lovely, clean system though. For less than $5 all six of us got into and back out of the city. It took maybe 30 minutes. Very worth it! And then we walked around the Inner Harbor area.

We took the boys to The National Aquarium for the day. And yes, it took pretty much all day. I'm not going to lie, it was a little pricey. But it was worth it. The boys had so much fun and we saw so many new and exciting things. I highly, highly recommend it to anyone going through or to Baltimore. Not just those with kids, either. Anyone would enjoy it!

After the Aquarium we took the kids to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe. The little guys were crashing hard at this point, but we got a decent amount of lunch into them anyway. Poor Zander (wearing long sleeves and pants, mind you) just about froze his hiney off. He is not used to air conditioning outside of a vehicle (this is still true now, even after a month in country) and it was rather chilly in the restaurant. He ended up curling up on my lap and falling asleep.

Our next stop was the Barnes and Noble, a two-story bookstore the likes of which the boys had never seen. Or, in Sam and Jake's case, had not seen in 3 years (since our trip to Ohio in 2007) and which they did not remember. Sam said, "I think I'm going to cry." the minute we walked inside. I have to agree; it was a rather nice bookstore even if you haven't been held captive by an AAFES Bookmark for the better part of a decade. Scratch that. It was fabulous!

This whole day was punctuated by the most helpful people on the planet. I swear, every time we turned around someone else was there who was more polite and wonderful than the person before them. Smiles and "excuse me" and just...nice people. (Are you tired of this yet? Sorry! It just amazes me so.) We got back to our hotel room in such a relaxed state; you would have never known that we had just flown across the ocean with four children the day before. It set the tone for our return and I couldn't possibly be more grateful.

I guess I misspoke yesterday when I said that we were in Baltimore for 2 days. We spent two nights there but we arrived so late the first night and left so early the third day that I guess we really only spent one day there. Early in the morning on that 3rd day we boarded a plane bound for Indiana, bidding Baltimore a fond farewell.

Again, it is late at night and I am tired. I will end this here and pick up where I left off tomorrow. Eventually I will be caught up!

No Longer in Deutschland!

It's been a long, long trip but here we are. We arrived in California a little over a week ago. Here is the last photo I took of the boys in Germany. We were getting ready to head down to where our plane was loading.

Obviously all this means that we got our orders. (If you are a comment reader or know us in real life, you knew this a long time ago. If you are like me and don't read the comments on the majority of the blogs you read...well, you know now!) As soon as that happened we were swept up in a wave of activity that washed us up onto American soil.

Our flight out left in mid-afternoon German time and was supposed to land in Baltimore around dinner time East coast time. Except it didn't. Somewhere into the seventh hour of our flight the pilot came on and told us we would be detouring to Bangor, Maine. Why? Well, it would seem we were a little light on gas. Not a great detour, but better than the detour we'd have gone through had we not made the stop, eh?

My thoughts exactly.

Thankfully it was determined that we could just gas and go, leaving customs for when we arrived in Baltimore. I can't even begin to tell you what a relief that was. The idea of unloading all four kids and our carry-ons, finding our bags, lugging everyone through customs, putting the luggage back on the plane, and then reboarding (only to do everything but the customs again two hours later) did not appeal to me at all. As a matter of fact, I think I need a nap just thinking about it now, nearly a month later. Thank you, thank you, Bangor customs people! You rock!

Our arrival in Baltimore was awesome. I should have been prepared, what with this post written by Anne Marie at Household 6 Diva a few months ago. I wasn't. I bawled like a baby when we walked into a room full of men and women and children welcoming us back to the states. (Granted, they were really there for the homebound servicemen and women we hitched a ride with. But still.) It was incredible. I was so humbled and thankful for those people. It lifted me up (which is pretty amazing after a 10+ hour ordeal); it also broke my heart. That is a story for another day, though.

We spent two days in Baltimore and I decided one thing: the people of Baltimore are a wonderful people! So incredibly gracious and nice and just...Lord, I don't even know. We had a fabulous time and I can't even find the words to tell you all just how relaxing and fantastic those two days were. Yes, my friends: Amanda is speechless. Mark your calendars!

There is more to this tale but I am so tired. I will give you the next installment tomorrow.

update on the move and other bits

Things have gotten crazy around here.

We are less than 40 days away from leaving and we still don't have orders. This is a problem because we can't do anything without orders. I mean the basic stuff. We can't schedule the household goods pick-up (aka "day with the movers" for you non-military types), take our vehicle to be shipped (not even the one we're paying for out of pocket!), get our tickets out of here, pick up the boys' school records...none of that and more! It's so frustrating!

At least we know we're leaving, though. There was a six week timeframe where we thought we were staying another year. I was not thrilled, as you might imagine. It's only been two weeks since they gave us the go-ahead-and-move-then wave. Whew!

We've been spending our time taking last minute trips, trying to organize the house (an exercise in futility when you have four kids), and planning a trip for the return to the states. We've also been spending some serious quality time with our closest friends here. They are leaving in less than two weeks and we are going to miss them terribly.

All this to say that, although I certainly haven't forgotten about my little blog here, I have a lot of "real life" stuff going on that is keeping me hopping all day long. It might be a little quieter here for just a bit longer. Please hang with me. I will be back!

Day One: Favorite Song

I am not a person who generally has a "favorite." I don't have a favorite color or city or much of anything else. I don't mean to be difficult when faced with this question, but I always have to ask, "Favorite for what?" I may like to decorate my house using burgundy and green...but I wouldn't want to paint the outside of my house either one of those colors. I like Heidelberg here in Germany, but I like Cincinnati in Ohio and Gatlinburg in Tennessee. I like all the things I like for different reasons and I can't really pick one thing over the other and say that this, here, is my very favorite.

As you might guess, this is going to make some of these "30 Days of Me" posts a bit of work for me.

I love music. Love.It. I tend to go for music that is slow and wistful sounding (think Sting's Fields of Gold). I like music from the 60s through the 70s best...mostly. I like James Taylor, the Eagles, and Christopher Cross. Music from the 80s is fun too, though. Jason and I have a lot of private jokes concerning the soundtrack to Footloose. Great car music is Justin Timberlake, Gwen Stefani, and The Black-Eyed Peas. They're just fun to "sing" along with when I'm driving the kids around. ("Sing" because I am profoundly tone deaf. Just so you know: you never, ever want to hear me "sing." That old saying, "Just because I can't sing doesn't mean I won't."? Yeah, I own that sentiment.)

I will, however, go through stages where one song will touch me more than any other. And I do have one song that speaks to me in the place where I am right now. That song is Miranda Lambert's "House that Built Me." In particular, these lyrics really get to me:

You leave home and you move on and do the best you can,
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am,

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it,
This brokenness inside of me might start healing,
Out here it's like I'm someone else,
I thought maybe I could find myself,
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave,
Won't take nothin but a memory,
From the house that built me.

Some of this probably stems from the general feeling of disconnect that I have been feeling with my extended family, particularly on my dad's side. My grandma was always the one who kept me anchored to home; she kept me updated on everyone and passed on the happenings from this end to everyone else. ("Home" to me has always been Grandma & Grandpa's house. I came home to that house from the hospital at birth and that house was the only constant home I knew growing up as a military brat. It's the closest thing I've ever had.) I talked to her a lot. She kept me grounded in terms of parenting issues as well. She had five kids and a husband who wasn't home much (my grandpa was a firefighter) so she understood the stress in a way that others in the family can't. Since her death I have been a little adrift.

I have spent a lot of the last couple of years figuring out how to heal and I feel like it would be easier to do around my family. As disconnected as I feel when I am out here in my own life, when I am home I mostly feel as though I belong. I think this song speaks to me right now because I was really thinking that the possibility of going to St. Louis would be my shot at getting back to that centered feeling I get around my family. My last shot at claiming my place just by virtue of being so much closer to home. The fact that it isn't going to happen has been something of a slap in the face.

I do think that music is a healing force in and of itself. The fact that someone wrote these lyrics (and that the song is so popular) lets me know that I am not the only one out here feeling this way. I just have to have faith that I will be able to work my way through all this in my own way.

What songs have touched you during stressful times in your life? Do you often find yourself identifying with a song because of what is going on around you?

Life is a Funny Thing

Yesterday was not a good day. Today was worse. I'm not feeling great about things. There are possibilities looming for which I am not prepared and I'm a little scared. It never ceases to amaze me how the road turns suddenly...just as you think that it's starting to straighten out a little. It makes me want to climb into the backseat and sleep until the road straightens again.

You can't do that, though. You miss too much scenery.

So today I danced in the rain with my boys despite the fear in my heart. I laughed with them in their child-like glee at the feeling of the rain running down our backs and dripping off our noses. We jumped in puddles and spun in our bare feet. We lived and laughed and loved and then came inside for dinner.

Everything will be okay.

Lest You Think We're Pouting...

Has it really been three weeks?! Oh my!

We are up to our ears in prepping for the move. We've been going through rooms, organizing the basement, selling seven years worth of accumulated junk, and trying to get the ball rolling on our paperwork. We FINALLY got the start of the paperwork yesterday and it should all be turned in sometime today; hopefully that means that we will have some timeline ideas soon. Fingers crossed!

Now on to the "real" post!

*********

It occurs to me that my last post was not chock-full of excitement in reference to our impending location. We've had a bunch of friends and family try to console us about the area (and many more try to scare us to death--thanks, guys!), but it's not the area itself that was the problem. Northern California, while not a place I have ever imagined myself living (much like Germany, I might add), looks like it is going to be a lot of fun! We're very excited about seeing an unexplored (by us) area of the country; we've heard great things about the "things to do" aspect of living there. So no worries. It's not the location; it's just the job we're not thrilled with.

We've been living here for nearly seven years now and Jason has been "stuck" in a certain work situation for the entire time. (His duty title has changed a couple of times--hell, he's at a different squadron now!--but he gets sucked into back-filling for another office. A lot.) Jason works in a career field that has several different possibilities when it comes to day-to-day positions. By that I mean that his every day work can vary greatly depending on the base/squadron to which he's assigned. We were really, really hoping to get him into a different sort of job than the one he does here for the simple fact that the schedule here sucks and we're just really done with it.

I can hear some of you now. "What's the big deal? He's pretty safe from deployment there. You know where he is and he comes home to you every night. How bad can it be?" (And now I hear some more of you, "WHAT?! Safe from deployment?!!!" The short answer is yes...sort of. The real answer is a lot more complicated than that.) If you are currently dealing with a deployed spouse then you get to think badly of me if you want, but that's the only group to whom I'm giving a pass. (Insert winky smile here, guys. Don't take that too seriously.) And the thing is, it's just how we feel.

At our last base Jason was "away" a lot. I truly know how that feels. We were at our last base for just shy of eight years and spent a little more than four of those apart. It sucks, for sure. BUT. (And that is in capitals because it's a HUGE! "but.") At least when he was home, he was home. We never see him here because his hours are unpredictable and super long. We can't schedule anything because we don't get much warning for what is going on with him work-wise. That's scheduling anything from field trips with the kids to trips to see Europe (you know, since we're here and all) or even just family dinner every night. It's just a very difficult position and we've been dealing with it for such a long time. We were hoping that the next job would be...different. I can honestly tell you that I would rather he have a "regular" job where he has to deploy than to deal with what we've dealt with here. (Yes, I'm serious. Yes, he knows I feel that way. Yes, he feels the same.)

But it didn't work out the way we had hoped. So we're going to just deal because, really? What else can we do? We've been told that some of the more difficult aspects won't be quite as bad at the new location and we're keeping our fingers crossed that that's the case. And in the meantime, I have found some kick-ass places to visit while we're there. More on that later!

At least we know!

Just found out...we're Beale bound. That would be in northern California. It's not what we wanted job-wise for Jason but there are some family-friendly areas nearby where we can live. I don't have much else to say right now...give me a couple days to come up with more positives.

And like I said...at least we know. The not knowing was absolutely killing us.

Dear So and So, The Online Yard Sale Edition

Dear Potential Buyer Group #1,

Why do you contact me to say that you are interested in something and then NEVER respond again? WTH? That makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. How impulsive are you people, really?

Wondering what you are like in an actual store,

Frustrated Seller

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Dear Potential Buyer Group #2,

For those who do e-mail back saying, "Great! So glad this is still available! I really want it! When can I get it?!"...Why do you not follow up? I seriously don't get it. And there are so many of you! It's amazing. I'm sure there are some valid reasons out there and I know you don't owe me anything...but I can't help but wonder just due to the sheer percentage of people who do it.

No longer giving a "grace period" for each "interested" buyer,

Frustrated Seller

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Dear Potential Buyer Group #3,

For those who actually do arrange a time and then don't show up...WTF?! How rude are you? Is it so difficult to send a short e-mail and say, "Hey! I changed my mind/something came up/I decided that your item sucks ass and I don't want it."? How are you going to make an appointment and then just not show up? You suck, my friends. A lot.

Wanting you to know that my time is precious too,

Frustrated Seller

P.S. Probably not a good idea to call and throw a fit about us selling an item to someone else after you've no showed the night prior. Really?! If you tell us you'll be there one night to look at the item and you don't show up, we are completely in the right to move on to the next interested party. Get over yourself.

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Dear Buyers,

For those who e-mail, make an appointment, and actually show up...you guys rock. Seriously. You have no idea how rare you are. Thank you for being interested, following up, and following through. This moving gig will be easier with each and every item that you help me get out of my house.

Gratefully yours,

Relieved Seller

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Want to read some more Dear So and So? Head over to Kat's and join the party!

Ah, more assignment drama

One of the reasons that I wanted to write this blog is to (possibly) give non-military people a little window through which to view our lifestyle. The majority of my family has no personal experience with military living and are full of questions about how things work...I figure the average civilian household is much the same. Because of that, I had really hoped to bring every twist and turn in this assignment process to the blog for the simple fact that it's so crazy and unpredictable! I'm a little behind in that regard. Let's play catch up, shall we?

When last we talked, Jason and I were trying to decide which possibility would be best for our family: the familiarity of a place we know and love (Florida) or the excitement of a specific area we have never lived as a family. (It was San Antonio, by the way.) Not too long after I wrote that post, a few things occurred which made that discussion null and void. Go figure.

We were asked by individuals within the "familiar" crowd if we would be willing to volunteer for New Mexico or Japan, two bases within the same command as the base to which we want to return. We did think about and discuss it, but the answer was (and is) no. The base in New Mexico has nothing nearby. There are no reasonable housing options for a family of six. The schools are questionable. There is no college nearby with the degree plan I want. And Japan, while I'm sure it would be extremely interesting, is overseas. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this or not, but we are really, really, really ready to return to the states.

So we switched our efforts to San Antonio. I won't spend too much time talking about the whys and whats of that area. In the end, timing is against us. If Jason was leaving a little earlier or a little later this might have been an option. Unfortunately, he's due to leave here in a time frame when this location is full up on manning. There just isn't anything that we can do to make it work. I am bummed beyond words by that development. Seriously. Pouting for days.

So that left the assignment list. The dreaded assignment list.

The only two options on the assignment list were two of our bottom five choices: Langley AFB, Virginia and Beale AFB, California. Both places will be similar to the work schedule here. Both are in areas that are a little questionable. We're not all that pleased. We're not really all that surprised either. But we set to talking about it. And talking about it. And talking some more.

Langely is within an area we are familiar with, even though we've never lived there. Jason's family is less than four hours south; most of my family is about 12 hours west. It's close to Danny, though. So there's that. There are pockets of good neighborhoods and schools scattered around the area further away from the base, although this will require a little commute for Jason. They have Target, so it's not a complete loss.

Beale is in an area of the country which we are not familiar with. At all. It's not close to any family; not even my brother and he lives in California. We've heard a lot of bad things about the base, although it seems that the further you live away from the base the more positive the reviews get. It is supposed to be very pretty up there. They also have Target.

I think you can probably tell that we're kind of resigned to the idea of either of these bases. There's good and bad. We wouldn't stay in either location for long. I would imagine that we'd try to PCS right around the two-year mark either way.

But wait! There's more! One final (I hope) twist to this assignment process.

Not too long after our assignment list came out, Jason got a phone call from a guy at work. And an e-mail from another. (He was on leave, so the guys wanted to make sure he saw it. Aren't they awesome?) Something like seven jobs had opened up for his career field in...St. Louis, Missouri. (Hello? Random, much?) Of course, we know absolutely nothing about St. Louis because who really thinks about moving to St. Louis?! Have you ever considered it? Exactly!

End result? Jason applied for the St. Louis assignment. It will be a great opportunity for him if he gets it; if he doesn't, we will know that we tried everything to keep him out of the other two bases. There is a certain amount of peace that comes with that knowledge.

Recap: We are less than 90 days from leaving Germany and we still have no idea where we're heading. Likely areas are Virginia, California, or Missouri. We're hoping for Missouri. We'll probably get Japan. Ha!

Things We Will Miss: Blumen Fields

In the spirit of finding my balance, I have a little project that I am going to do here on the blog for the next couple of months. I feel like I have spent a little too much time this week complaining about living here. The truth is, Germany has been very good to us and there are many things we will miss! In addition to keeping me from focusing on the negative, I think it will give you some insight into all the reasons we have enjoyed living here.

First up, because it is just that time of year, are the blumen fields located all over the place. (Side Note: Blumen means "flower" in German, which just kind of makes sense if you think about it.) Blumen fields are areas where farmers plant all different sorts of flowers. Some of the more popular flowers are tulips, gladioli, iris(es?), sunflowers, but there are many more too. As the different flowers start blooming you can just go out and pick whichever ones you want. There is a money can and price list located on the outskirts of the field and you just put your money into the can. Pretty simple, right? The fields also make for great, colorful places to take pictures.

These first few photos are from May 2005. This field usually has tulips in it except, of course, for last year! We want to get some cute photos of Zander and Izzy with some tulips so that we can put all the photos into one display group. Hopefully we can find a place to get some great ones soon. (Sam is 8 in these pictures and Jake is just shy of 4.)




This set of pictures is from August 2007. (Sam was 10, Jake had just turned six, and Zander had just turned one.)


As you can see here, blumen fields aren't just good for pictures! They are also great for exploring, old school style.



I love these fields for so many reasons and I am definitely going to miss them when we get back to the states. I am so thankful that I have one more season to appreciate them.

Familiar Comfort vs. the Exciting Unknown

So I haven't mentioned our move in awhile, right? It's that time again.

Not too long ago I posted that we were going to try to go back home. I have spent the past few weeks looking up information on when school starts, getting numbers for area realtors, the times for the local Farmer's Markets, and any amount of other information that you want to know when you first move into an area. It turns out that for every ten things I know about the area from living there for so long, there are a million things I didn't know. Great things that would make it so fun to show up and explore.

But.

Yeah. There's always that dirty little three-lettered word, huh?

Jason has recently been presented with an opportunity that is very hard to pass up. It's not a shoe-in possibility, but it's a pretty good one nevertheless. It's to an area we are both familiar with to varying degrees but to which we have never been together. It's very family-friendly. The schools are nice. The homes are nice. We could even potentially see ourselves living there for the long haul. It is also a four-year controlled tour. That would make it our last duty station for certain. We would not have that same guarantee if we went to Florida and it gives this second location quite the edge as far as I am concerned.

Making this next duty station our last has a number of positives attached to it but one that is high up in our consciousness is that Sam is only a little over a year away from starting high school. It would be nice to give him all four years in the same school, with the same kids. If we enjoyed it enough to stay (and I really, really think we would) we could also give the younger kids a headstart into their new "civilian" life. Jake could possibly attend school with the same kids for nine years. Zander and Izzy could get the whole she-bang. I find that possibility nearly breath-taking. It's barely within my ability to grasp, honestly.

In coming to the decision we brought in some of our family and friends as sounding boards (please don't out me, guys!) but I'm not going to share here. I'm afraid I'll jinx it, as ridiculous as that sounds. There is still the possibility that we will end up at a location that is not of our choosing at all and I guess I'm just afraid to want what I want too openly. After all, it's not like we really have any say where we go. We can let everyone know what we want but that doesn't even come close to meaning that we'll get it!

Ever been afraid that if you wanted something too openly that you wouldn't get it? Feel free to share!

big decisions

Something that Jason and I have discussed for years (and years and years) is where we might eventually "settle down." As a military brat turned active duty member turned military spouse, the very idea is so foreign to me that I have to put it in quotations. For real. I try to imagine staying in one place for, well, ever and my brain just freezes right up. How do you decide where your "forever home" is? Do you pick by location? Job opportunities alone? The weather? The housing market, nearby family, or (ha ha) no nearby family? Do you ask for recommendations on Facebook? (I may or may not have done that. Ahem.) What makes an area the "right" place?

We haven't lived in as many places as a lot of military families. We first met each other in Texas during technical training school. After a few months there, we moved to the panhandle of Florida and spent a mind-boggling 7.5 years there. From Florida we moved here to Germany. This summer (at our 7 year mark) we will move on to another location. With only 5 years left, it could well be our last move. Or not. Who knows. Such is the life of the military family. Believe it or not, you get used to it. Sorta.

We've been thinking about this next move a lot, though. Like I said, Jason has only five years left until retirement. It is not outside the realm of possibility that our next duty station could be our last. For awhile we talked about how we'd like to go somewhere "new". Maybe somewhere in Texas or Arizona or New Mexico, all places that are close (-ish) to my dad and in an area of the country that neither of us has ever seen. Maybe somewhere in the Mid-West just so that I could show Jason and the boys the beauty of living in the middle of cornfields. (Yes, there is a beauty to it. You just have to look at it the right way.) Or maybe somewhere in Virginia where we could try living in a place central to the bulk of our family. We looked at it from lots of different angles. There wasn't much that we didn't consider.

One day a few weekends ago we were talking about all this (again) and looking up housing in different areas. We were looking at what we would be able to afford in all the possible areas, trying to plan for any eventuality. (Yes, it's an exercise in futility but when you have no real way to plan something as big as a trans-Atlantic move you will do just about anything to distract yourself.) Mid-conversation I started looking up homes in our old stomping grounds in Florida. After the third house with a pool that I found inside of our budget I said, "Why can't we just go home?"

It was said half-way joking, but there it was. Home. Jason, who has always wanted to return to Florida, was quick to point out my use of the word. It was interesting; prior to that moment, the only place I had ever referred to as "home" was my grandparents house. It's the only constant "home" I've ever known.

So we started to talk. The pros: We love the area. We can afford the area. The schools for the kids are awesome. Hey, look! A nearby college has the degree plan I want. We know the area backwards and forwards. The weather is fantastic. The views are gorgeous. There is sun (oh, the sun!) nearly all-year-round. Um...the beaches. The beaches some more. And did I mention the beaches?

The cons: Yeah, not so many. We still haven't come up with any real cons. None that count anyway.

Perhaps the most important thing is that this is an area we can see ourselves settling in. With Jason's retirement and Samuel's graduation five short years away, this is a good thing. It would be nice to get Samuel into a place and let him finish out his schooling there. It would be nicer still to have that place be somewhere we intended to stay, cementing the fact that it was now "home" for all of us. Maybe then he will choose to settle down there as well, and his three younger brothers after him, allowing us all to stay in one area. You know, like a normal family. The very idea boggles the mind.

So Jason has dropped his name to a few people, hoping that the right opening will come up at the right time. We'll have our fingers and toes crossed for the next three months, hoping that "home" will be our destination come this summer. If it isn't, we'll be fine. But it would be so awesome if it was.

Ever pondered the same questions? How do you intend to make this decision? Or how did you? Feel free to leave a comment!

a list because i'm lazy

1. School is kicking my butt. It's all I can do to get the basic household necessities done...oh wait. That's right...I'm NOT! I am so thankful that Jason does the laundry. If he didn't we would be in trouble.

2. I'm kicking school's butt. So far. I see the potential for some problems in the second half of the term but as of right now I'm doing really well.

3. But I'm so burnt out that I had to request ideas for my biology paper on Facebook. Is that bad? Oh well. I only got one suggestion...but it was an awesome suggestion and I took it.

4. Did you know it's almost Christmas? Ack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Need way more time than I have.

5. Izzy is walking pretty well now. We're working on the "W-sit" thing still. He really isn't talking still but he's communicating a little. He repeats us a ton but he's not independently using any words yet. He'll use the sign for "more" and he points A LOT now. So we're getting there.

6. Jason put in for an assignment to San Antonio. Although he's a GREAT fit for the job there is a possible timing issue (they want someone a little sooner than what we are due to leave here) so we'll see if it works out or not. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I have been researching schools. The University of Texas San Antonio has a Geography program. I've found a pretty kick-butt pre-school for Zander too.

7. Um...I guess I don't actually have a "7". Hope everyone else out there is doing well.